Alright, let’s have an honest chat about your relationship with exercise.
Maybe you’re someone who starts strong but can’t seem to stick with it. You’re “on the wagon,” then you’re off again, and every time it feels a bit harder to get back into it. Or maybe you’re the opposite—you’re so committed you’ll never miss a workout, even when you’re tired, sick, or straight-up burnt out because taking a break feels too risky.
The thing is, both of these situations come down to the same issue: your exercise is tied to how your body looks.
When Exercise Is All About How You Look
When your main reason for working out is to change your body—lose weight, get “toned,” or look like someone on Instagram—it’s no surprise things get messy. Research has actually shown that focusing on exercise for appearance is linked to inconsistency and obsession. Why? Because using external stuff like how you look or what the scales say as your motivation doesn’t hold up long term.
If you’re someone who can’t stick with it, maybe “I need to lose weight” doesn’t feel motivating enough to pull you off the couch on a cold morning. And if you’re someone who’s overdoing it, there’s probably some fear driving you—fear of gaining weight, fear of losing progress, or fear of how others might judge you. Neither of these is a great place to be.
The Fix: Find a Better Why
The solution? You’ve got to change your “why.” Instead of using exercise to fix or shrink your body, think about what else it can do for you. What if it became about:
- Feeling strong and capable.
- Taking care of your health—your heart, bones, joints, and everything else.
- Boosting your mood, clearing your head, or just managing stress.
- That sense of accomplishment when you finish a workout, no matter how small.
- Having fun with movement—yes, fun. (When was the last time exercise felt fun?)
If that feels easier said than done, here are a few prompts to help you rethink your “why”:
- What type of movement makes me feel good—mentally, physically, or both?
- How can exercise support me in living a long, healthy life?
- If I didn’t care about how I looked, why would I still want to move my body?
- How does movement help me show up better in other areas of life—work, relationships, or just feeling like myself?
You don’t need some big, impressive goal for this to work. Maybe you want to train for your first pull-up, but you don’t have to. You could just as easily move because it makes you feel less stressed or because you know it’s good for your body in the long run.
What Happens When You Let Go of the Pressure
When you stop exercising purely for appearance, something shifts. Suddenly, movement isn’t a chore or something you feel guilty about—it’s something you actually enjoy. And the kicker? You’ll probably end up being more consistent anyway.
So, ask yourself: what’s your “why” right now? And is it actually working for you?
No judgment here, but if it’s not, maybe it’s time to try a different approach.
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